Hey guys it is time for one of my favorite parts of my blog, Ask Professor Locs.
What are your New Year's Resolutions? (Or what would they be if you weren't perfect?)
Professor Locs: I swear I did not post this one...smile. This comes from a positive reader and follower.
The older I get the more clear my resolutions become for me. I want to be in control of my own financial destiny. I have made companies a lot of money, usually unappreciated, it is time to use my talents to help me and those around me.
Hey Guys it has been awhile since I got to answer reader questions but I am glad I can catch up with one reader.
You are quite a fierce man. What advice would you give to women who would like to achieve their own fiercness?
I am flattered by the comment and observation. I have to give credit to the fact that I have always been surrounded by pretty fierce women. I think that women have a natural fierceness and it only takes a little to bring that out. I think the trick to being fierce is being comfortable in your own skin, listening to your own voice and walking in your own truth.
So let your fierce flag fly and represent!
If you have a question or observation please use the Ask Me Anything section of my blog.
Hey Guys I am running behind with my Ask Me Anything but you know I love talking to my readers and offering helpful advice.
Reader: I need advice, My best Friend is coming to see me for a weekend and he is gay. My boyfriend has no problem with gay guys, but has a problem with them just being his friends or just hanging out. I think he is scared he will get hit on and will get felt up
This is a common concern when your BFF is a gay boy. There are a couple of things to consider. Gay boys are very vain. No disrespect but straight women will date men that Gay guys would not give a second look to. So let's be honest on a scale of hotness is your Boo a 4 or 10. If he is a nice guy but is pretty ordinary looking then he could watch TV wearing nothing but tube socks and a smile and your gay friend would not even notice.
However, if he is a Brad Pitt hottie then this could be problematic.
Now for your Boo he should calm down and again unless he is Brad Pitt then he is pretty safe. If he is a hottie then accept the attention, lock the bathroom door and keep you between you and your BFF at all times....smile.
My favorite part of blogging is being able to address reader questions, concerns and observations. So, one reader shared something that is right up my alley.
Professor Locs, I met an older gentleman at a business meeting recently. His every mannerism suggested to me that he was gay. He struck me as one of those older men who, in another era, may have married and fathered children, never admitting his true orientation.
Now, here's where it get's tricky. As the meeting wore on, I could swear this man was giving me the eye. Nothing overt. Nothing I could prove in court. It was just a feeling I got. I'm straight, so I've learned to pick up on these things when women are sending me vibes. This was the first time I've sensed it from a man.
Was this my imagination?
How does one know if a gay man is coming on to him?
Sign me, Just Curious
It has been my experience that flirting is flirting, and the rules are pretty much the same. I think that regardless of the initiator we should be flattered when anyone finds us attractive. The rules for same-sex attraction are not very different.
I get hit on by more women now than I did when I was younger and cuter. The reason being is that I am more comfortable in my own skin, and ultimately what is attractive to people is that someone is self-confident.
The reader is right-on in that the older guard of gay folks had to master the art of being discreet. Many times meetings had to happen in very “normal” settings. It is pretty easy to assume everyone is gay if you are in a gay bar, but what do you do at the grocery store, office or barbershop?
This art form has been past down and adapted by the DL men of today... men who, despite having access to gay establishments, for various reasons choose to keep their sexuality a secret.
I lived in Atlanta for years, the haven for DL men, and was always amazed at who and where these exchanges occurred. I have seen guys give you the eye at the grocery store, the mall, on the street and even a brazen minister or two.
But back to the readers point: I think we all know when someone is hitting on us or flirting. You should always go with your intuition. It is easy to pick out someone like Richard Simmons, but what happens when the dude can “pass” for straight? That's when the signals are a bit more complex.
So to give you some examples of possible gay courtship, I have come up with Professor Locs’ Five Scenarios that indicate you are being hit on by a gay man:
5. Your tailor insist on measuring your inseam by candlelight while you both are wearing boxers.
4. You show up for a football party but instead of wearing the team jersey and serving beer and nachos, your friend greets you wearing a silk robe, a glass of champagne and chocolate strawberries.
3. You notice your workout buddy, who usually spots you on the bench press, is now smiling down at you and going commando in his gym shorts.
2. Your barber is giving you an edge-up, but every time he leans in it feels like he has clippers in his pocket (or maybe he is really, really glad to see you).
1. You notice that the guy in charge of your carpool switches from Jay Z to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” every time he picks you up.
If any of these or similar scenarios present themselves, do not panic. A simple “I am flattered but that’s not my scene” will suffice. Avoid any sudden moves, as that may trigger your gay pursuer to charge. If this happens, play any song from "Dream Girls" to distract them until you get to higher ground….smile.
Professor: My concern is making sure you hold the Father of the child accountable so that you do not bear all the responsibility of raising this child alone. Stand up in your Divaness getting help is your right...smile.
Professor: The bedroom and sex play are like Las Vegas what goes on there should stay there. We all have our buttons that get us randy. I know you have heard the expression it is not what they call you but what you answer to. Try getting into and call him names back as long as he is not calling you his Ex. Remember fantasy is a two way street what gets you going? Is it toe sucking? So the next time he starts the cat calling present him with your big toe....smile.
Professor: I think the bigger question is why doesn't everyone love gay men. Let's face it there is a lot of festive, fierceness to love....smile. There has always been a love affair between straight women and gay men. We are sometimes the best part of the male ego without the ugly selfish side...lol. We treat you like the Divas that you are and support your dreams, listen to your problems and offer a safe place to land when things do not work out.
Why ask why and just enjoy the love fest....smile.
Hey guys it has been awhile but I am glad to participate in one of my favorite parts of blogging, answering readers questions. You can send me your questions through the Ask Me Anything section of my blog.
Statement:I loved Wii review! i'll stick with my less effective, yet less insulting weekly weight watcher meetings!
Response:I am glad you enjoyed my expose of the Wii. I am still having ambivalent feelings towards my Wii Fit Plus. I have lost weight and feeling good about myself but I think I will need a third party mediator before I face the Wii Fit Plus again. I do not trust a solitary meeting...laugh.
Question: What secrets can an African-American, Gay Male share with a Caucasian, Straight Female?
Bonus: we are both erudite Southerners. (No, that is not an oxymoron people)
Response: Race, gender and sexuality aside, there is much we share as Southerners:
1. We both have an appreciation for Southern men.
2. We both get irritated that people assume we are not intelligent. (How many knew what erudite meant?)
3. We are fans of strong Southern women, especially in big hats...smile.
4.We are practiced in the art of verbal tongue lashings through a smile of Southern charm.
Hi guys it has been crazy busy but you know I like taking time to catch up with my readers and what is on their minds. So here are some questions from the Ask Me Anything section of the Professor Locs site.
Question:Why is it family members always borrow money and promise to pay it
back on the 3rd? Then when the 3rd of the month comes, you can't find
them. Now I'm waiting for them to get their tax return to see what kind
of excuse they got then.
Answer: I know exactly what you are talking about. Family and friends can drive you crazy. People ask Hey, you're from Texas why do you live so far away from your family. I love my family but they are crazy and I have found that living at least a time zone away works best for me...lol.
A general rule of thumb is to only lend the amount of money that you can depart with comfortably. I like to use the crack head rule. When you are on the street and you get hit up by a nice crack head for some money and you put out. You really don't expect to go to that same corner and get a return on your investment a week later do you? Apply the same principle to relatives and you will save yourself a lot of worry and drama.
Question: What do you think of white people co-opting traditionally black
Answer: The nature of the mainstream is to co-opt culture from marginalized communities. Couture fashion is driven by what is hot and trendy in the streets. Hair styles are no different. We have seen a history of this from musicians covering Black music and styles. Many of the current hot artist of all colors studied at the Michael Jackson school of Pop Art, including Usher and Justin Timberlake.
Some say the highest form of flattery or praise is imitation. Let's face it Black culture is cool, exciting, original and hip, who would not want to have some of that...smile. I talk about the obsession of Black hair in my post "I Brake for White Women".
I have locks and often see a white brother or sister with locks. They always look at me a little strange as if I am going to berate them for wearing their hair like mine. I have no problem if that is how you want to rep yourself.
The only problem I have is when people confuse cultural signifiers with cultural authenticity. Wearing a "Black" hairstyle does not make you Black just like perming your hair or wearing weaves makes you European.
But beware those folks who look ethnic and wear Black hair and "urban" style, you have to take it all. The bad credit, racial profiling, diabetes, high blood pressure, student loans, lower wages and being followed in the store...lol.
If you guys have any burning questions or observations please share on Ask Me Anything portion of my blog.
Hey guys I am catching up on some questions from my Ask Me Anything portion of the site.
Question: hi Professor Locs. how is it when you deal with the irs on several
tax returns. when they owe you it's chalked up to nothing--you don't
get it. but if you owe them --- then guess what? jackpot on interest.
Answer: I must step lightly when referencing the IRS. I mean other than Oprah that is the most powerful entity with the ability to crush you like a bug. But I must support my readers.
You have to think about the IRS as the ultimate pimp. A pimp does not care how much you work, how much your feet hurt , how long the hours and how many tricks you turn. All they want is their money and you better have all of it.
And just like a pimp they can keep your money if they want to and no they don't care, cause in their mind you work for them.
So you may as well throw on those fishnets, stilettos, rabbit fur and hit the streets. Cause that big purple hat, velvet cape wearing, cane wielding pimp Daddy IRS is ready to bust you upside the head with a sock of nickels in interest.
You better do what he says unless you want to get a letter from the IRS that reads "Audit" which is code for "Where is my money Bitch!".
lp I hope this helps and remember a little concealer hides the bruises.
Hey Guys there has been a lot going on. I am enjoying my partnership with Q City Metro and as a result I am restructuring my blog a bit. I am seriously behind with my Ask Professor Locs Post. So here are some of the comments, sorry for the delay.
What are your thoughts with the issues that CMPD has now with public
trust and how do they mend the damage done?
Answer:Trust issues in regards to law enforcement is nothing new, especially as it relates to marginalized communities. It is sad that every industry has its' bad apples and unfortunately they tend to eclipse those dedicated professionals who are doing great work.
So improve police officers' community image, I propose a benefit car wash featuring some of the finest men in blue or maybe out of blue and shirtless. Nothing makes you forget short comings than a set a of nice pecs and abs...LOL.
Question: I would like to know if you could help me....I need my hair loved
Answer: Well I can only tell you that when Professor Locs needs his hair loved on and treated royally he goes to his favorite natural hair Divas at Always Ahead. These Ladies know how to treat a man...and I don't say that very often...smile.
Question: What is the fiercest (most fierce?) thing you have ever seen?
Answer: This is a very difficulty question being a gay Black man I have have seen many fierce things so let me list my Top Five:
1. Patti LaBelle at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. When you do a cover of Whiteny Houston's "You're All the Man That I Need" and have grown, big, straight men shouting sing it Patti you know you are fierce.
2. The first time I saw a Black Drag Queen lip sync to gospel music at a club. If you closed your eyes you swore you were in church, truly inspirational!
3. Black women in their 80's still tipping down the aisle at church in high
heels. Love the Seasoned Dolls!
4. When we saw two muscle daddies with a bunch of standard size poodles all died a different color of the gay flag during the pride parade in Atlanta.
5. The fiercest moment was watching Barrack Obama get sworn in as President!