Professor Locs

Michael Jackson's Film Collection

A collector comes forward that Michael Jackson was a major client who had a pension for Nazi films and Judy Garland specials.  So if you ever wondered where Michael Jackson got his fashion sense then mystery solved.

And for all of you people questioning Michael Jackson's sexual orientation, I hope his Judy Garland collection puts your suspensions to rest, that man was straight!

Charlotte Sambo Sign

I am not surprised over the controversy surrounding the Charlotte, NC “No Grease” brand.  I would like to share my personal story and experience with the, how some may describe, infamous logo.

I moved to Charlotte   years ago and like most Black folks I had to immediately identify, a hair stylist, the nearest Red Lobster and club life, not necessarily in that order. 

When I inquired about a barbershop, a friend suggested that I check out a shop on Central Avenue.   He told me the name and when I inquired about landmarks he just laughed and said it would be clear.  When I approached the shop and took in the full view of the No Grease logo, my mouth dropped, insert slow motion effect and your favorite explicative.  Needless to say I did not enter the establishment and went to another barbershop down the street and patronized them for years. 

I moved here from Atlanta and had experienced a pretty progressive culture, so the logo was definitely shocking.   I mean would I find “For Colored Only” drinking fountains in this city? I ran into my friend a few days later and he laughingly inquired did I like the shop? I said what made you think that I would go into “The Jiggaboo Joint?”

Fast forward several years later a friend turns me onto a great stylist for natural hair; the only issue is she was temporarily working at “No Grease.”  For years I had avoided this place but it seems destiny had other plans. 

I arrived early for my appointment; my heart was racing, the Roots theme song played in my head.  I nervously kept looking over my shoulder, certain at anytime there would be a crowd of NAACP protesters or worse a pack of “Eyes on the Prize” Civil Rights dogs and fire hoses.

I did not know what to expect.  Would I be greeted by a receptionist sporting the latest in “Gone with the Wind” plantation wear? Would the bootleg man be hawking “Birth of a Nation” DVD’s instead of the latest Tyler Perry film?  Instead of cutting arrows and other graphic designs would the Barbers etch maps of the Underground Railroad in the heads of their patrons?

I entered the shop and was immediately impressed.  The hostess was pleasant, the barbers were in uniform, and the overall presentation was professional.   I met my stylist and we have enjoyed a wonderful professional relationship, as she opened her own establishment.

And although I found my overall experience at No Grease to be a pleasant one,I still, like many of my friends, cannot bring myself to patronize a business with the “Bamboozled” marketing theme.

If unchecked this could lead to other counter-culture marketing plans. The following are Professor Locs  Top Five equally bad business plans:

Gay Ray’s House of Flaming Ribs

Crazy Coons Beauty Supply and Nails

Spic and Spook’s Car Wash and Rims

Chief Apache’s Beer and Bait Shop

Uncle Tom’s Chicken and Waffles

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black Bears Killed in South Carolina

South Carolina, in response to an increase in its Black Bear population, has raised its quota for hunters from 3 to 5 bears.  Just when you thought it was safe to go frolicking in the woods again. 

I know the PETA people will be all over this but I thought I would take another angle. 

I wanted to see how this would effect another Black Bear population so I contacted a local Leather Community Chapter.  

According to one of their members, they were also alarmed at the rate increase.  Willy said "We are normally hunted for our sunny dispositions, fur and fondness for blue plate specials."

My source says they reviewed the article with their club members and were at first intrigued about the process of getting stuffed and mounted but we quickly realized they were talking about Taxidermy. 

Lindsey Lohan Gets Sentenced

Lindsey Lohan, wild child of Hollywood, gets sentenced finally after months of dragging it out. Lindsey Lohan once best known for being one of the up and coming stars is known more for her tabloid exploits these days. 

She seemed upset about the sentence but what do you expect when you come into court with "F#%K You" spray painted on your fingernails.  You may as well complete the ensemble with a "Kiss My Ass" Prada bag and really piss the judge off.

I personally am over this heifer and her antics.  The need to call her "The Incredible Shrinking Sentence Woman" because every time you turn around they are reducing her sentence.  It started off with 90 days, then 14 and now they are say 9 days.

Hell by the time she gets through security and picks up her jumpsuit they will be releasing her again. 

She has the nerve to be all upset about 9 days. She will be out next weekend. That is not a jail sentence that is Vacation Bible School.

She already likes girls, jail is like shooting fish in a barrel.  She better talk to Little Kim and Foxxy Brown about doing some real time.

What do you guys think, does the judicial system have a different standard for celebrities?

Alvin Greene: SC Underdog

Alvin Green an out of work, unknown, facing indeceny charges is a SC Senate nominee. The country celebrated the triumphant rise of our first African-American President, Barack Obama. But are you guys ready for another young brother from obscurity in South Carolina? 

I am always excited for any Black man trying to get ahead until I started listening to this guy talk.  Picture Magic Johnson and the "Hooked on Phonics" creator's love child and you get the picture. 

 One of his ideas for helping the SC economy is to sell Toy Action figures of himself. I wonder if his action figure will  have a Kung Fu grip?  I predict another Cabbage Patch doll phenomenon. 

You have got to check out Greene's campaign speech. This is pretty painful to watch, but like a gruesome car wreck you vow not to be like all the other cars and ogle the carnage, until you get close enough to consume the gore up close and personal yourself.  His speech is kind of like that, you want to look away but can't. 

The more I watch this guy I think something else is wrong, other than a failed public school education.  I am not a scientist but I bet if there were a DNA test we might find that Greene's parents were brother and sister. 

I'm just saying.  You guys watch and tell me what you think.

 

Walter Hawkins Dies

Legendary Gospel Great and Grammy Award Winner, Walter Hawkins dies at age 61. Hawkins is part of the Great Hawkins Family, pioneers in old school choir songs.  He is the predecessor of modern acts like Kirk Franklin.  

He took gospel music to the mainstream with International hits like "Oh Happy Day".  His Love Center Church in Oakland, CA. was known for progressive teachings of inclusion even around sexual identity.  Another legendary performer Sylvester found solace in their congregation. 

I cannot tell you how many women I have had to catch in church or dodge flailing hands as they lost themselves in the throes of a feverish shout brought on by one of Walter Hawkins' songs. 

The power and spirit of Walter Hawkins music even found its way into many clubs, remixed for house music or performed with authentic feeling by Diva Gospel Drag Queens. He will be missed but his music will live on in our hearts, churches and yes even the clubs...smile.

I would like to share one of my favorite tunes with you, enjoy!

Boondocks: Tyler Perry Diss

Just when you thought Boondocks could not get any more edgy.  The creators are gunning for the Black Media Mogul himself, Tyler Perry. 

Now I am not one of those gay people who likes outing other folks.  The coming out process is a very intimidating, stressful and personal journey. How you doing Clay Aiken?

I have never slept with Tyler Perry so I cannot confirm his orientation.  

Perry is actually following a long tradition of Black men in Hollywood in Drag, Flip Wilson, Jamie Foxx  Martin Lawrence and Whoopi Goldberg, to name a few.  This list does not include all the working Drag Queens holding it down and collecting those dollar tips.

But according to the "children" Perry has long been suspected of being in the life. So I was absolutely blown away by the latest episode of Boondocks, featuring the Drag Lord himself.

Watch and tell me what you guys think?

Eclipse: Vampires Suck

Hey guys I am back. I had some much needed down time.  So on my break and along with a horde of pubescent teen girls,  I saw Eclipse, which is part three of the Twilight saga.  You guys know I love Vampire genre but the Twilight series is like Vampires meets the OC. 

If you missed the first two movies I can catch you up pretty quickly. The first film Twilight you find a Twink Vampire who meets an equally pale Emo girl.  The twink is undead but I'm not sure what Emo girls excuse is for not getting any sun. Insert dreamy Native American best friend into the mix.   Anyway, Emo girl is hunted in first film by crazy stalker Vampire.  Twink Vampire's family puts the beat down, fang style on stalker, the end. 

In the second film, New Moon, the twink Vampire breaks up with Emo girl to keep her safe.  Insert again dreamy Native American best friend who is now on the juice, buffed up and oh yeah, is a werewolf!  Crazy red head jump off of the Vampire stalker, from first film, wants to do a supernatural cat fight with Emo girl. Twink Vampire wants to end it all so Emo girl bust a move to Italy to save him.  They tangle with the creepy red eyed House of Fang Face.  You better serve attitude Dakota Fanning!  Emo girl and twink Vampire return for final pissing contest between Twink and Wolf Boy, the end. 

The third movie I will not ruin but suffice to say it is one of those where most of the action is in the trailer. Emo girl is torn between dreamy buffed out Native American hunk or twink Vampire, who literally looks like he has not eaten a burger in a hundred years.  The only thing that was worth the ticket price was wolf boys abs and the  final Vampire, Werewolf, fang, claw grudge match!

What did you guys think?