Ramona Holloway approached me about being a guest host for the Sunday morning talk show, “The Satisfied Life,” on WLNK (107.9 --The Link). She had followed my work on Qcitymetro and thought I might be able to contribute an alternative voice to the show’s format. I was excited and honored for the opportunity.
We taped on Wednesday night and the show aired Nov. 21 from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. We were given a list of topics we might discuss, including a 52-year-old Georgia megachurch pastor who came out to his congregation; the role of religion in airport screening; exorcism on the rise; and my personal favorite, Hookers for Jesus.
This was like Christmas in July for someone who loves to critique popular culture.
I was already following the new security measures that had been implemented, including the scanners and pat-downs, and due to time restraints, I did not get to voice my opinion on this subject when we taped. So I will share some of my views in this forum.
I know some of you are like, “Didn’t they already do pat downs at airport security?”
Yes, but the old school pat-down consisted of the back of the hand that grazed passengers. The new school is a much more intimate, open-handed search of ones personal space. Clutch the pearls, ladies, this also includes moving and lifting of the “girls.”
Is it just me, or is this what they used to call being felt-up back in the day?
Now, you not only get to retrieve your shoes, bag and what is left of your dignity, you also get a free session for a support group and a coloring book for your plane ride so you can color in the part of the life-like drawing where you were touched inappropriately.
Ramona, during the taping, gave an example of a woman whose religion forbids her from being seen by men outside her family.
This is a touchy subject. How much of our civil liberties are we willing to give up in the name of better security? Remember the underwear bomber? For all the high-tech security measures they had in place, it came down to a good old-fashion crotch sweat to save the day.
Are we being too squeamish? How is this any different than getting into some of the clubs in the hood? I know back in the day when I was doing the party circuit, it was common practice to get scanned and also patted down before they let you into some clubs. So if we are willing to do that for half-price cocktails, then certainly we can bare it for keeping a bomb off the plane.
I know this is stressful for some people, so for you guys who are traveling for the holidays, I offer Professor Locs’ Top 5 reasons to be concerned during an airport security check:
5. The guards are playing Prince’s “Erotic City” over the loudspeaker.
4. The security officer smiles up at you while patting your nether regions and ask if you are going commando.
3. You hear moaning and groans in the security officer next door.
2. You later find the security officer’s phone number in your bra.
1. They take you out of line for a more thorough search, but instead of the requisite stark room, you find an officer in a smoking jacket with lit candles and several small, airplane liquor bottles on ice.
You can watch the edited version of the show on my website www.professorlocs.com. The other co-hosts are participating remotely, so you will hear only Ramona and me in the video. The broadcast should have a link soon on the show’s website.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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