So my Sister was going out of town overnight, and rather than risk leaving the twins unsupervised with various members of the boy band, we decided that it would be better to have them stay over with their uncles.
It is amazing how big my nephews have gotten. I remember when they were just tiny terrors. Now at 15, they are almost as tall as me, with feet bigger than mine and voices that seem unusually deep for young men so young.
I was looking forward to a boys’ night with my nephews. They usually come over and set up camp in the basement. I guess it is like being in a college dorm. Teenagers are like cave dwellers; they like holding court in places hard to access by grown ups. Our basement has cable, a computer, video games and its own bathroom.
The twins are usually low maintenance. They hang out in the basement with the dogs like some teen hybrid wolf pack and typically come up only for air, to eat, to let the dogs out and maybe watch a guy movie with us like “The Hangover.”
Saturday around noon the doorbell rang and the requisite chorus of boxer-barking took place. Our dogs love our nephews, but there is a special love affair between our youngest boxer, Dudley, and the twins.
I greeted my sister and hugged both twins, commenting on how they are trying to sport some facial hair.
My sister left for her trip and I immediately noticed things were a bit different. My nephews did not immediately descend into the basement but hung out upstairs.
“Hey, this might be a chance to do some real bonding,” I thought.
To honor the occasion, I had prepared a menu of true boys-night-out cuisine -- chicken wings and tacos. A virtual culinary heartburn fest was going to pop off. All texting devices were banished. We were going to try something controversial and actually speak to one another face to face. I could see the panic in their eyes.
We did a lot of talking and laughing as we made them sit through “Too Wong Fu” for the first time. They could not believe how ugly Wesley Snipes was as a girl. They saw the last scene of “Imitation of Life” and I explained this was the only film that gospel legend Mahalia Jackson ever appeared in.
We balanced the time with other, more traditional boy-night films, such as “Iron Man 2.” We even forced them to play a game of scrabble, which they actually enjoyed after the initial shock that the game did not have a joystick and wasn’t played with online competitors.
Hanging out with my nephews brought back the nostalgia of what it was like being a teenage boy. Teen boys are an unusual group. I often have discussions with my sister on how to understand the teen male psyche.
I know some struggle with how to appropriately engage the teen male, so I offer Professor Locs’ Top 5 Tips for raising a happy male teen:
5. Keep a well-stocked fridge in your home. Teen boys can eat their weight in food everyday.
4. Read between the lines. Although the male teen has a cauldron of thoughts at any given time, this is rarely communicated, bar a few monosyllabic words.
3. They travel in packs. This helps to foster their courage and avoid attack by bigger prey.
2. Even if you are old school and believe you own everything, always knock before entering their domain, less you come face to face with some male teen ritual.
1. And speaking of rituals, never, ever touch the towel he keeps next to his bed.
Well the time came when my sister picked up my nephews. I hugged them both and watched the two twin towers get in their SUV and drive away.
I felt compelled to go to the basement and between the array of video game cases, water bottles and scent of strong cologne I felt like an empty nester whose baby birds had left the nest. Oh well at least they had taken their own towels and put them in the laundry…lol.
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