I must preface this post by saying that today’s topic and tone are a slight departure from my usual satirical and sarcastic commentary.
This weekend was the birthday weekend for both my grandmother and my Aunt B.
My Aunt B turned 75 and I wanted to do something special, so I decided to do a video tribute -- you know, put those student loans and broadcast skills to work for good and not evil…smile. I ordered my grandmother a special bouquet from her local florist who always works with me – the unknown caller from the big city -- to create something unique for her.
So I waited until Monday to check in with my grandmother. I called on the way to work and she answered.
I said, “Hey Momo.”
There was a slight pause and her response was, “You know it’s storming here.”
This is code for, “I am not talking on this phone during a storm.”
I said, “Well, I guess I will let you go then.”
She replied, “Thank you for the flowers” and hung up.
I thought, “Hey, at least she is evolving.” Back in the day she would not have even picked up the phone. You can read more about my grandmother’s weather rituals on my blog.
This brief exchange made me smile and I began to wax nostalgic about the wonderful women in my life. I told you, I had spent the weekend preparing a video tribute for my Aunt. This required me to comb through many pictures I inherited when my Mom passed. Again, guys, bear with me as I work through some difficult emotions through the comfort of storytelling.
People think it is easy to lose a parent if you are an adult. But no; you still feel orphaned at any age.
When my Mom was placed into Hospice, my Cousin Augustine, Aunt B and my Aunt Thelma came to the rescue. Those ebony, Southern magnolias helped me and my sisters through one of the most difficult times in our lives. They took to the kitchen as they had so many other times in my childhood and poured their support into loving dishes of comfort.
These women have always been there for me, and I know others can pay tribute to similar wonderful women in their lives. When I got expelled from school and my Mom was on assignment out of town, it was my Aunt B who met with the school administrator. When my father passed several years before my Mom, I fought to keep it together during the service, but afterwards, I was finally allowed to collapse in the bosom of my Aunt Thelma, who held me and let me have the release I so much needed.
During fall break when I was a student, I went to visit my grandparents, and over a plate of fried chicken, green beans and potatoes I shared that I had almost flunked out of college the first semester. My grandmother simply said, “We are just glad you are in school.”
This was the epitome of unconditional love. I think if I told my grandmother I was a drug dealer she would simply say, “Well, at least you are working,”…lol.
I have always found this complicated relationship between emotional moments and comfort food with the women in my life. It is kind of like Tyra Banks’ philosophy with a makeover. You get fired from your job, cheated on, DWI, incest survivor, amputee victim, IRS audit, Katrina survivor or latest casualty of “Dancing with the Stars?” Never fear; all is well with a fashion makeover. Well it is kind of the same way with the women in my family as it relates to food. The highest praise is to over consume to the point of lapsing into a diabetic coma during a Thanksgiving meal….lol.
I remember when my grandfather passed, my grandmother held court in the kitchen and the receiving line. I thought she should be a basket case, but there she was hugging necks and directing traffic. I was ready to dive into a casserole from a woman she had just hugged and thanked when my grandmother leaned into me and said, “Put that one in the back; Sister Johnson got roaches.” I was like, “Momo, that’s not right.”
There are three things I know to be true:
1. You will never see Oprah at the unemployment office.
2. "The Jeffersons" will always be in syndication.
3. You can always find love and a great meal at the home of anyone of the wonderful women in my family.
My Aunt Thelma makes gumbo that will make you not only want to slap your Momma but post the video on Youtube.
You have heard of Steel Magnolias. Well, my Aunt B is a titanium magnolia. I have never seen her cry. Her release is in the kitchen where she lovingly works out her own emotional process but yields the most delicious recipes like her famous chicken and dumplings.
We are familiar with the movie and series “Soul Food,” but do we really understand the intersection of culture, family, love and cuisine?
Either through memory, video, taste or smell, I am constantly reminded of the wonderful part these women, divas, magnolias and angels bring to the table of my life and how tasty are the recipes and love they share.
I know this is a different type of post for me, but I wanted to take a moment to honor, share stories and pay tribute to the wonderful cooks and divas who feed both our taste buds and our souls.
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