Professor Locs

Ask Professor Locs

I just love when I get questions from readers and supporters.  Please visit the Ask Me Anything section of the Professor Locs blog.

Question: 

What would you say keeps a man after there baby mama and why? Even if the person they are with is better. Why would they settle for less?

Answer:

The fact that there is a baby mama reference lets me know there are children involved and that you watch Maury.  People always underestimate the bond between parent and child. 

If you are seeing someone with children understand they will ALWAYS come first.

Some folks don't get it,  once you have children there is a permanent bond that exist.  You can never hope to compete with that relationship.  The best you can do is work with it.

If you are committed I have a few tips to gain the upper hand:

1. Make sure you look fierce when ever you and the baby mama are in the same space. Nothing screams I'm a sex kitten more than a head scarf, granny panties, sweats and flip flops. The Hustle and Flow look is so dated.

2.Do not complain to your man about how much time he is spending with his children save that for everyone else including your family, friends and unsuspecting strangers caught in the elevator.

3. Don't be so available. Men want what they can't have.  Nothing is more alluring than something that is hard to obtain. When he calls say you have plans even if it is staying home and drawing horns on the baby mama's picture.

4. If you suspect he is still involved with the ex, do not attempt a drive by in your own vehicle. Avoid keying cars see (celebrity Usher Post). Amateur move!  This is when you call a friend to see a movie and take a detour and hold court on the opposite side of the street.  Armed with Jazmine Sullivan CD, portable DVD player, popcorn, and video camera. (black cat suit, crow bar and night vision goggles are optional).

5. This is the most important.  I don't care how bad his kids are never disciplinee them.  Learn to smile with your eyes, curse them out under your breath and mentally beat them like pinatas.

6. When all else fails the best way to get over a man is to get under a finer one....LOL.

Ask Professor Locs

I always enjoy entertaining questions.  You can submit questions on any topic using the Ask Me Anything widget on my blog.

Question:

Professor locs, I have been asked by close friends and even my mom says I should write about my experiences as a single Black "pimpin" woman. I have a few topics, but would love to hear your thoughts on a few topics I could cover. Signed- Old Bitch

Answer:

There are so many men offering suggestions to what Black women need in their lives. Steve Harvey's  book "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man" is one celebrity example. 

It would be very refreshing to have an actual Black woman contribute to the dialogue. 

I grew up in a house full of women and have much admiration for Black women so here are some topic suggestions:

1. Why are you so angry, I didn't hurt you? Black women and the attitude.(See Mad Cashier post)

2. You Better Shop Around: Serial Dating

3. You take the kids: Holding Father's Accountable

4. Dating men with less formal education.

5. Why you just using one crayon when you got an entire box. Dating other Races.

I hope these suggestions help OB but I think I will refer to you as Seasoned Cougar...smile.

Ask Professor Locs

Hey Guys I always like catching up with questions from my Ask Me Anything section:

Question: How do you get "sex rehabilitated"? i.e. tiger woods. Do you have sex until you can't have it anymore?

Answer: Tiger obviously tried sexing anything with ovaries and that didn't work.  I think he should try picturing a Lesbian sex scene with two of the Golden Girls.  That should cure him for sure.  I know I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Question: the contestant tryout on American Idol with "pants on the ground" caught my attention. He was disqualified because of his age. What do you think about him?

Answer: The aesthetic of Pop Music is very youth oriented.  So it did not surprise me that they were showing no love for any one with a 401K and liver spots.

When I first saw this guy on the show I said who let my Uncle out of the home?  I thought the VA was paying good money to monitor him. 

Ask Professor Locs

I wanted to catch up on some questions from my Ask Me Anything portion of the blog.

Question: Professor Locs, do you think Magic 8-ball is the next prophet?

Answer: No, I do not think anything made in an Indonesian sweat shop can be given prophet status.

        I am old school I like the days when we checked our fortunes with psychics with fake identities and                 accents.  Calling Ms. Cleo...laugh.

Question: R U GAY IF U HAve A RAINBOW SHIRT ON & IT SAYS RECRUITER ON IT?

Answer: This is tricky question.  You could just be a clueless straight guy who bought it on sale at Goodwill.  Women are not so easily duped.

But there are 5 full proof signs to make sure the wearer is gay.

    1. Was the outfit accessorized with any other rainbow paraphernalia?

    2. If it is a girl is she wearing a flannel sleeveless shirt on top of it and faux hawk haircut?

    3. Did you spot this person in the home improvement section of Home Depot?

    4. If the shirt was worn by a guy was it tight fitting?

    5. And the guaranteed sign is when the wearer is holding hands with someone from the same sex and arguing about the final two finalist from Americas Next Top Model.

What signifiers do you use to tell if someone is gay?

If you have some burning question please post it on my Ask Me Anything widget.

Ask Professor Locs

Question: When do you think the world will end?

Answer: There are biblical signs that signify the world is coming to an end. You have your basic locust, famine and plague.  I like to take a more modern approach and use the media as a barometer.

Here are Professor Locs 5 top signs the world is coming to an end:

1. The Jeffersons will no longer be in syndication.

2. The Jerri Curl makes a comeback.

3. Oprah ends up on food stamps.

4. Bert and Ernie finally come out as a gay couple.

5. Lip syncing becomes an official Olympic Sport.

What would be some indicators for you guys if we are living in the last days...smile ?

If you want Professor Locs to address any of your questions check out the Ask Me Anything widget on the website.

Ask Me AnyThing

Question: Do gay men look at straight men in the locker rooms?

Answer: This is so cute.

The only way to tell who is gay in the locker room is maybe by how many grooming products they use and how long it takes them to pull it all together.

Also any guy who instead of wrapping his towel around his waist, wraps it around his hair in an up do is suspect.

Also we do not have many perks as gay folks.  We can't file joint tax returns, cannot get married and can't hold hands in public, at least without bear spray.

We can however check out guys in the locker room.

And trust it is not all the guys only the hot ones.  The trolls are just as invisible to us as they are to good looking women...laugh. 

Please if you have any questions check out the Ask Me Anything widget on my site.

Ask Me AnyThing

Question: Should you choose comfort over fashion?

Answer: This has been an age old dilemma.  Divas have tossed comfort under the bus for glamor.  We can take a page from their book.  No one will comment on how comfortable your shoes look but step out in some four inch heels and feel the fierceness!

Want to tap my brain on Black, Gay, Popular Culture issues or just Ask Me Anything.

Ask Professor Locs

Question:

Uh-ruh, when you gonna be on Night Desk duty again?

Answer: Due to budget restraints I and other managers were asked to cover the night desk.  I am not sure when I will be asked to cover the night desk. Although stimulating as it is I think I can do without the duty for awhile....laugh. 

You ever had any questions about being, Black, gay, southern, or just generally curious about something take advantage of my Ask Me Anything icon on the site.

Ask Professor Locs

How do you nicely send an email to your professor's boss about the lack of feedback you received from the class? And after the class is over he then tells you what you need to do to improve the paper and he then expects you to redo the paper in 2 days? Alease

Alease,

I would bullet point the correspondence bringing attention to why I thought his decision is not favorable. Give him until after the holidays to respond.

If you have not heard from the professor or their response is unfavorable then I would send another email forwarding all the historical correspondence to his supervisor and or the Dean.

Sometimes rich communication like an actual phone call may assist you in reaching your intended outcome. It is harder to say no in real time than in an email.

Good luck.

Professor Locs

Ask me Anything